How cancer can affect your sex life

Sexuality is the feelings and characteristics that make up your sexual identity. Sexuality is a very personal matter and means different things for different people.

Sexual attitudes and behaviors vary greatly from one person to another. They are influenced by our experiences, our upbringing, our genetic makeup, our cultural and religious beliefs, and our hormones. Sexual attitudes and behaviors can changed due to different circumstances and can vary at different times in our lives.

You are a unique individual and your sexual identify is part of who you are. There are many different sexual preferences. Your sexuality is not set in stone-you can change your mind, find new pleasant things, and communicate in new ways.

Effects of cancer on sexuality:

It is very difficult to predict how cancer and your treatment will affect you. For many people, changes in their sexuality will be temporary. However, you may have to get used to permanent changes and find new ways to give and receive sexual pleasure. With support and clear communications, you will still be able to enjoy a satisfying sex life.

There are four main ways in which cancer or cancer treatment can affect your sexuality. They can affect your:

• physical ability to give and receive sexual pleasure
• thoughts and feelings about your body (body image)
• emotions, such as fear, sadness, anger, and happiness
• roles and relationships.

These areas are related-if there is a problem in one of them, it can impact another.

Having cancer can affect how you feel about your sexuality or can affect your physical ability to enjoy sex. Many people with can say that they feel very tired and have almost no energy for months or even years. This can be because of the cancer itself or the treatment. This tiredness can make them lose interest in sex both during and after their treatment.

Sexuality and your feelings

Feelings, sexuality, and cancer:

Your feelings may be a very powerful influence on your sexuality and your sexual behavior. If you feel depressed or anxious, you are less likely to entertain thoughts about sex. This also happens if you feel afraid about your cancer, your treatment, or your relationship.

Being diagnosed with cancer usually bring up many strong emotions that can make you less interested in sex. Fear, anxiety, pain, anger, envy, and jealously normally stifle arousal.

Often, if you you have had a change in your body due to cancer or your treatment, you are afraid of being rejected. Everyday feelings can become magnified, which may be exhausting and make you lose interest in sex.

Some people feel an increase in their sex drive. Others say that they feel guilty about having to worry about their sex life when they should just be thankful to be alive. Sometimes, the feelings can be overwhelming and can be intensified by worries that their emotions will also affect those around them.

Ways of releasing feelings:

Sexual self-esteem is often directly related to overall feelings of well-being. If you feel insecure about yourself and lacking in confidence due to cancer, you may have a lack of sexual confidence. Try talk about the topic and express these feelings.

You can share your feelings with someone who is going to listen to you and not judge or tell you what to do—such as a family member or a close friend.

If you have a partner, talking openly about sex and cancer can help you get over your problems with communication. Your health-care team may suggest that you see a specialist in sexual health. These are experts in handling issues of intimacy and relationships, and they can give you confidential advice and practical assistance. They can help you express your anger and other feelings. Keeping old feelings pent up will not help you get better or improve your relationship. By speaking openly, you may be able to get over the common problems in communicating about sex and cancer.

Sexual contact can be a good way to get these feelings out into the open. After having sex, any feelings of anger may go away. Sex can also diver people's attention away from disturbing feelings.

Frequently asked questions about sexuality and cancer

-Can sexual activity cause cancer?

Not in the strict sense of the word. Development of certain types of cancer may be influenced by a virus that is commonly transmitted from one person to another through skin-to-skin contact during intercourse.

Anal cancer, cervical cancer, vulval cancer, penis cancer, and some types of mouth cancer are more likely to occur in people who have the human papillomavirus (HPV). This is a sexually transmitted virus. Some types of HPV are known to increase the risk of developing certain types of cancer. These are called high-risk HPVs. The types that are most often associated with cancer are types 16 and 18.

However, HPV is very common, and most people who have it don't develop cancer.

There are many factors other than the virus that can increase the risk of developing cancer, such as:

• smoking
• age
• diet
• genes inherited from your parents
• overall health

These factors can influence whether being infected with a virus will affect the development of cancer or not.

-Can I get cancer from my partner?

No. If your partner has cancer, it cannot be transmitted through sexual activity. You cannot get cancer through sexual relations.

-Could my cancer get worse by having sexual relations?

No. In fact, sex and all the love and caring that go with it can be useful for people with cancer. Many people feel depressed, unworthy of being loved, guilty or afraid when they have cancer or are receiving treatment. Affection and acceptance from a partner can make a big difference. Sex doesn't make it more likely that the cancer will spread or come back.